Results + Restlessness

I don’t mean to post this a few days after Mother’s Day…but test results came back “normal” according to the Dr. who administered my HSG test. I will not go into details as some of you may be eating as you read this, and quite honestly it wasn’t that bad. I even got some nifty socks to take home! I am slightly restless because I am waiting for a phone call from my OB to schedule a time to really go over the test results and what it means for going forward.

I have been thinking (imagine that) about what this all means for me, my possible role as a mother some day, or my possible role as a “mother” in the non literal sense. I can’t ignore the constant comments that are directed towards my positiveness about our “situation.” I am thankful that my parents taught me that life isn’t always what we think it’s going to be. I can’t remember a time in my life that either of my parents complained about anything and it sometimes rubs off on me. I am appreciative of everyone’s kind words, I just hope I don’t come off with a callous attitude towards the subject. Although, am I supposed to be constantly sad about it? Should I be always be feeling sorry for myself that I’m almost 32 and not a mom yet? Don’t answer that, I’m not totally positive either. Yes, sometimes I do cry about it and whine to James that it’s not fair. I’ll be honest though, when we’ve been out late on a Friday night and I look over at the clock and it says 10 a.m. and James is still sleeping, I smile.

I smile because this is our life right now. This could always be our life and I’m OK with it. We’ve still got plenty of time, and plenty of other options to figure out if I’m cut out to be a mother or not. Although we’re not totally sold on any of our options as they are just that, options.

Anyhow, that’s the 411 on that portion of our lives.

Now for random non-related happenings:

Last week I went to the jewelry store to send my ring in since one of the small diamonds fell out. I MIGHT have said sorry like 3 times after going off slightly when the unassuming associate informed me it would be $300 to get it replaced b/c someone returned my extended warranty. Good thing for him, I kindly reminded him it was never returned and my crowned jewels should be in my hands by Friday, free of charge.

James has officially ONE year of school left for his undergrad! I might be more excited than him, and for sure more proud! (he’s just a lot more humble than I am). He’s been doing fantastic at his internship and is enjoying all the programs he’s learning. We’re not focusing too much on the future just yet…you know finding a full-time job, applying for grad school etc…we’re just focusing on that expensive piece of paper! (keep an eye out in a year or so for a invitation to a killer grad party).

I might be hooked on Army Wives. Before you judge, it’s on netflix, so whenever there’s a hint of funny business coming on I fast forward. I think right now I’m watching episode 48…hey remember I don’t have kids and I don’t have cable OK!

And I can’t close a post without talking about going to grad school. It’s one of those nagging feelings I can’t get rid of, I know it’s something I need to do, I just don’t know for what or when. I have career ADD. I love hair, I love the creative world of marketing and advertising, I love helping people solve their problems and connecting them with the answers. For now I’ll be an underpaid therapist that can help you maximize your marketing dollars all the while shaping your eyebrows and making your hair color pop!

Wednesday, May 11th, 2011 Uncategorized

6 Comments to Results + Restlessness

Kaneischa Johnson
May 11, 2011

Girlfriend, you always have the right perspective. I applaud you for that, in and of itself. Life is pretty rarely what we actually expect it to be.

To top it off, I can’t think of a better time to seek out your next place in life. Grad school? yes please. Hair and some therapeutic chatter? SIGN ME UP.

Melissa
May 11, 2011

I am addicted to Army Wives – and really, I haven’t seen too much funny business on the show that I can think of…but maybe my standards are too low :P

Your perspective, btw, is what I look up to when dealing with a similar situation, just so ya know ;)

love your guts!

Melody
May 11, 2011

I have two sisters-in-law who aren’t able to have children. I’m not sure why Heavenly Father makes it that way for certain people, but He has a plan for all of us! Isn’t that comforting? As long as we’re doing the best we can with what we’ve been given, He’ll be happy with us. :)

I like being around you. You so cheerful all the time! Just keep up the good attitude, and you’ll be ok.

James (the hubby) Woolf
May 11, 2011

I don’t worry about future plans too much because I know you’ll be there with me and things will always work out.

Best wife ever!

Margo
May 11, 2011

Steph, you are amazing. I love the post from your hubby. Thank you for sharing. We are all praying for you two. love ya…

Kim
May 18, 2011

Hey, there is nothing wrong with being the jack of all trades, it just means you are good at a lot of things! I have career ADD as well. :)

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